20 of the Most Important Things I’ve Learned in 20 Years
I just turned 20 years old, so I decided to take the opportunity to reflect on the lessons I have learned throughout my life thus far. In this podcast episode, I share 20 key takeaways from my experiences. From the importance of relationships to the power of self-discovery, these lessons have shaped my perspective and continue to guide me as I navigate the world.
#1- My Mom is My Best Friend
My mom is by far one of my best friends. She has been my rock, my confidante, and my biggest supporter throughout my life. Everything I go through, she’s the best friend there to hold my hand, to experience with me, and to encourage me to stay true to myself. The person I am today is because of her and how she raised me, and each of the lessons I’m sharing here I wouldn’t have learned without her guidance.
#2- Your Truth is Not Everyone Else’s Truth
I struggle with this one. Everyone has their own truth and values and it can be difficult to accept that not everyone sees the world the same way we do. However, recognizing and respecting these differences is crucial for healthy relationships and effective communication.
#3- Stay True to Your Values
While it is important to acknowledge and respect the values of others, it is equally important to stay true to your own values. Your core values are the foundation of who you are, so by staying true to your values, you are staying true to yourself and your authenticity.
#4- Don’t Solve the World’s Problems at Night
I have learned the hard way that trying to solve problems or overthinking at night is not productive. Our minds are often more susceptible to negative thoughts and rumination during nighttime hours (or at least I know mine is!). Instead, I try to focus on relaxation and self-care in the evenings. While asleep, our minds help us solve problems we didn’t even know that we had, so when you wake up, you may find that you have a fresh perspective and clearer thinking in the morning! (See why I’m a neuroscience major? The brain is amazing)
#5- You Can’t Control What Happens to You, But You Can Control How You Respond
We cannot control external circumstances. Believe me, I wish we could. But what we can control, is our responses. This realization in my life was particularly evident during my battle with PANDAS disorder. By shifting my mindset and choosing to focus on personal growth and resilience, I was able to navigate through challenging times and emerge stronger than before.
#6- You Can’t Control Other People
In a similar vein, I have come to understand that we cannot control other people. Each individual has their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences that shape their behavior. Accepting this reality allows us to let go of the need to change others and focus on our own personal growth and well-being.
#7- Letting Go is Okay
Letting go can be painful, but it can lead to personal growth and happiness. Whether it is letting go of a toxic relationship, a past mistake, or a long-held belief, releasing attachments can open doors to new opportunities.
#8- Phones Can Be a Blessing and a Curse
Honestly, I have no idea what life would look like anymore without phones. They can be really helpful to stay connected, but they can also be distracting and addicting (especially social media). Finding a balance between utilizing the benefits of technology and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial for overall well-being.
#9- The Most Important Relationship You’ll Ever Have is a Relationship with Yourself
The only person you will spend your whole life with is yourself. So take time to understand and get to know yourself like you would get to know a friend. Doing this allows you to live authentically and make choices that align with your true self. Self-reflection, self-care, and self-compassion are key components of building a healthy relationship with yourself.
#10- Nothing is Black and White
Life is messy, and there are rarely clear-cut answers or solutions. Recognizing that nothing is black and white was one of the most important lessons I’ve learned. It’s really important to consider multiple perspectives and this helps you stay open-minded.
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#11- There is Always More to the Story
Similar to the last point, everyone has a unique life story shaped by their experiences, beliefs, and circumstances. So this means that there is almost always more to someone’s actions or words than what we see. Does this necessarily excuse them? No, but it does allow us to approach situations with empathy and curiosity by considering this.
#12- Gossip Never Helps
I don’t think I need to say much for this one. We’ve all felt the negative results of gossip. It doesn’t feel great, so keep that in mind the next time you’re tempted to gossip (because we’ve all been there)!
#13- Step Out of Your Comfort Zone
One of the best things I did for myself was challenge myself to step out of my comfort zone in some way every day. Why? Personal growth often occurs outside of our comfort zones. Stepping out of our comfort zones allows us to overcome fears, build resilience, and adopt a growth mindset.
#14- Pain and Discomfort Can Lead to Growth
Pain is unpleasant, but it can also be a path to personal growth. By reframing pain and discomfort as opportunities for growth, we can navigate life’s challenges with greater resilience and wisdom.
#15- Labels Are Up to You
I used to label myself a lot, and now I rarely do. While I don’t thing one is right or wrong, I think that knowing you have a choice to adopt labels is really important. Labels can be freeing, and they can also be limiting. It all depends on you and your experience, and it’s okay to choose to/not to label yourself.
#16- Aesthetic Can Matter
One of my biggest pet peeves is when aesthetics and well-being are made into trends and money-making opportunities. Why do we like aesthetics? Because they surround us with an environment and surroundings that bring us positive emotions. Creating an environment that aligns with our personal preferences and brings us joy can make a big difference in our motivation, mindset, wellbeing, etc.
#17- You Wear the Clothes, They Do Not Wear You
Fashion choices should reflect our personal style and preferences instead of conforming to societal expectations. So wear the clothes you want to wear, and wear them proud! By wearing clothes that make us feel comfortable and happy, we can cultivate a positive self-image and boost our self-confidence.
#18- Take the Compliments
I’ll be the first to say it, I struggle with accepting compliments. But by accepting the compliments we recieve, we can validate our worth and build self-esteem.
#19- Counselors Are for Everyone
I have been going to therapy for years and I am a firm believer that everyone can benefit from counseling. In fact, in many cases even counselors have counselors. Just like you would go to physical therapy for an injury or when something feels difficult, you should go to counseling to have someone to talk to when needed!
#20- Take Everything with Time
Finally, lesson number 20. I wanted to drop out of college for a year, but I had no backup plan so I stayed. In the end, time took its course and I realized I loved college. Now of course this isn’t always the case, but time has a remarkable ability to heal wounds, provide clarity, and offer new perspectives. So next time you have a difficult decision to make, try allowing time to pass. It can bring about a shift in our emotions and understanding.
