How To Be A Genuinely Happier Person in Life

Those who have been here for some time know that I’ve gone through some pretty rough patches in my life. While I was at my worst, I remember searching, “how to be a happier person,” over and over again. There are so many articles about being happy in life that show up. Some claim that there is one ‘secret.’ Others claim that it’s about being wealthy or successful. The truth? As I’ve gone through my journey of healing, I’ve realized that there is no one answer. Being happy comes from within and, for me, it all started with mindset. So here I am to share the mindset shifts I’ve learned that helped me become and genuinely happy person…

Perspective

One of the biggest reasons we are disappointed or unhappy in life is that we forget to look at things with perspective. A lot of times when we are unhappy, it is because of situations that are outside of our control. For example, if someone is being rude to you, you’d usually get frustrated right? You’re frustrated because you think they shouldn’t be treating you like that. While that may be true, you are focusing on the negatives and, in turn, creating negativity within yourself. Instead, try to look at it with perspective. Maybe this person just found out that a family member died. Yeah, it sucks to be treated this way, but you’re probably more understanding if you realize they are going through a difficult time.

I once saw a graphic that explained this really well. In the graphic, there was a drawing of an iceberg. About 1/5 of the iceberg was above the water and the rest was below the water. The part of the iceberg above the water was labeled ‘what we can see,’ while the rest was labeled, ‘what we can’t see.’ This is a mindset that is so important in how to be a happier person. Learning to take things with a grain of salt can completely change your mood and reaction to something. Try to accept that you might not know the full story and move forward with grace.

Spend quality time with yourself

The two main reasons I am unhappy are when I am unhappy with others (which is when perspective comes into play) and when I am unhappy with myself. How I try to counteract this is by spending quality time with myself every day. You are the person you will spend the rest of your life with. When you meet someone new, you usually want to get to know them before dedicating much time to them, right? This is the same for you. If you’re going to spend the rest of your life with yourself, why not get to know yourself?

This can be as simple as 5 minutes in the morning without distraction. 5 minutes every day for a year- that’s over 30 hours that you spend with yourself. That’s a lot of time to understand yourself! I usually try to spend this time meditating, journaling, or just sitting with my thoughts. It can be really comfortable at first, but you’ll start to realize that you’re pretty cool.

Be open to making mistakes + learning

Genuinely happy people own up to their mistakes. Why? Because there is not a single human out there who doesn’t make mistakes. We all make mistakes, but happy people are able to acknowledge and learn from those mistakes. Otherwise, you’re going to be beating yourself up for those mistakes and not taking the opportunity to grow. Being able to acknowledge a mistake, learn from it, and then use it as a stepping stone toward building your goals.

Enjoy the small moments

It’s easy to get focused on the destination of being happy and forgetting to enjoy the process. The truth is, happiness is not permanent. There will be days that you feel incredible and there will be days that you don’t. As much as it sucks, it’s a reality of being human. The difference between being able to focus on the moments that you are happy vs. only focusing on the negative moments is to trust and enjoy the little things. Don’t be afraid to romanticize yourself. Step out of your comfort zone and live a little. Set down the phone and live in the present.

Practicing gratitude in the little moments can change your life in the best way possible. Don’t forget to be easy on yourself. One thing I realized after trying to learn how to be a happier person was that it’s not guaranteed. Being happy is not only a feeling, it is a process and a mindset. Choosing to be happy is the first step in the process, the rest is learning what makes you happy. It’s not the same for everyone, but I hope that these 4 things that I learned can help you learn how to be a genuinely happy person.

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Sending happy vibes to everyone,

~ Alessia Maria