The Meaning of My First Tattoo + What I’m Learning

​In the most recent podcast episode, we’re talking about something that I’ve never discussed before: my tattoo. I’ve shared pictures of it on Instagram, but I’ve never actually talked about the meaning behind it or why it’s so important to me. So, we’re going to do just that.

The tattoo design

Honestly, the tattoo design doesn’t have very much meaning to it. It’s just something I like.

When I decided to get a tattoo, I was always drawn to plant and vine designs. The tattoo has lavender flowers and monstera plants wrapped around my bicep. Both these two plants and flowers have meant a lot to me over my lifetime, and they show my love for growth and the positive, healthy energy that I want to be surrounded by.

How getting a tattoo helped me balance my masculine and feminine energies

​Being queer, I’ve struggled a lot with my identity over the years. While I feel confident in my identity today, it wasn’t always that way. In the LGBTQ+ community, there is pressure to look or act a certain way when you come out. I really fell under that pressure. I found myself trying to change who I was, changing my clothing style, and trying to look like I fit into the gay culture. But it wasn’t me. It took me years to realize, but I am my own person, and who I love does not need to define how I express myself.

Getting a tattoo was my way of embracing myself and the more ‘masculine’ or ‘dark feminine’ traits that I hold but don’t always show. It was really empowering for me, and I feel more myself each and every day.

Tattoo placement: symbolizing my journey with mental health

TW!! My tattoo is located around my left bicep, and I chose this arm on purpose. ​I’ve talked about my struggle with mental health and self-harm before, but I haven’t talked about the scars I hold from it. My left bicep is where I have past scars from self-harm, and I chose to place my tattoo over these scars to reclaim my future. I never wanted to completely cover up these scars, because they are still a part of my story, but I wanted to symbolize my healing and place the tattoo around the scars, instead of on top of them. When I see it, it reminds me of all that I have overcome, and that I am always growing and learning. It represents a scar that I chose, a mark of my own journey towards self-acceptance and self-love.​

My tattoo reminds me who I am. I want it to be a reminder not only to myself but to anyone who may be struggling with self-acceptance and identity. There is no one-size-fits-all approach to life, and it can feel so messy. But you are not alone.

My tattoo represents a chapter in my life and a balance between the past I have experienced and the future I am building. It’s a permanent mark that will stay with me and remind me of the lessons I have learned and the person I have become.

The journey isn’t easy, but the little joys are what makes it incredible.